Truly, how many of us wish all news anchors would receive a slap from a monkey every time they broadcast? I think it would be like introducing quality control to the standard programming. One slap for every unfounded fact uttered. Two slaps for scare tactics broadcasted to the public. Three slaps for joking with the weatherman. Hell, make it four slaps for joking with the weatherman. Again, quality control. It starts with being slapped repeatedly by a monkey and ends with a head butt from a giraffe…in a perfect world, if only.