It’s one of the most exciting moments of your mundane life.
You just got back from Microcenter with a brand new wireless router and you’re ready to set it up. First, you call your cable company and chug three beers while you’re on hold. Then you’re fighting with an internet expert in a time zone 14 hours ahead of you.
You finally get confirmation that the router you choose, the one that resembles the BattleBot ’98 world champion, will actually work with their provided modem and a choir of angels sings down.
You Love Internet, It Provides Internet
You love your new router. It is going to provide you with every episode of Star Trek. It’s going to provide you with a connection to the real world and Facebook (not the same thing.)
It will provide it you with endless hours of joy and joy and yes I said joy twice. Guess why.
You may not think about our little unsung BattleBot hero, but they provide for our well-beings in more ways than many of our human, physical relationships.
It’s how I’m writing these words and delivering them to your eyeballs.
So what, you’re gonna call something stupid?
Would you call your dog something stupid? What about your wife?
Something that you love this much deserves a awesome name. A name worthy of your time, and something that you won’t be ashamed of when you’re neighbors steal the signal. It must be regal or respectful. At the very least it must a stupid pun.
But at the same time, it has to be something clever. A clever wifi name is the pinnacle of human achievements.
It shows the own possesses a mastery of machine, language, and humor, the modern day equivalent of a renaissance man in an era full of “bros” and guys named Chad.
I’ve taken the liberty to list out the most clever wifi names I’ve come across in my short time on this earth. I will periodically add to this list as I learn more about the ways of the wifi. I will soon become a master of modem, and reach a new enlightenment.
Clever Wifi Names
- MrBurns (Signal strength… excellent.)
- Free WiFi For Everyone
- Get off my LAN
- FBI Surveillance Van
- Wu Tang LAN
- Occam’s Router
- Bill Wi, the Science Fi
- Wi believe I can Fi
- Duke of URL
- This LAN is your LAN
- Spaceballs the Wireless Network
- House LANnister
- Fi like an eagle
- doyourhomework (“What’s your wifi? Do you homework.”)
- THE ROUTERS OF ROHAN
- Lord of the Pings
- The Router Limits
- Darude- LANstorm