It’s time to inject some humor into your week! Let’s chat about horses, shoddy airlines and the worst/best new phrase of the year! Meanwhile, Sparks also decides to get more edgy than you ever thought was possible! It’s all right here on the latest episode!
News That Matters:
- Must be amazing to have sex with this guy:
THERE IT GOES, RIGHT INTO THE HOLE. COMING BACK UP, OH NOPE THERE IT GOES IN AGAIN. OH NO, HERE COMES THE LOAD. IS IT ALL DRAINED? IT STINKS, LOOK AT THAT. THANK YOU MA’AM, APPRECIATE YOUR TIME.
- Bitch, how you know fish don’t love that shit?
- That truck probably burns my entire life’s worth of farting upon key-turn. My Butt-hole would probably film horizontally.
Guess What’s Up My Rectum:
Sitting at home and stayin off my phone. Gonna lay low and save my dough. Eating leftover curry. Not paying attention, maybe I’m in a hurry? Gag! Gasp! Choke! Swallow! Something stuck, esophagus no longer hallow. Two days pass, now feeling gassed. Pregnant wife saying I don’t look right. Hospital 1, then hospital 2, sending me home saying “nothing wrong with you.” Projectile vomit, call me Halley because it looks like a comet. Surgeons prepare for my death, priest reads my last rights. Hole in my rectum, but my ass is putting up a fight. I wake 4 days later. Wife gave birth, and I look like Darth Vader. Quadriplegic now and I want this statement known: When you eat curry, don’t swallow a chicken _____
I am trying to not eat this entire bag of Oreos. I now know what Lindsay Lohan feels like during happy hour
Back on twitter! This is the hardest app for me to stay active on! Anyone else have this problem?
— Ryan West (@RyanWestt) January 2, 2017
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