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Neckbeards vs hairy knuckles, Song Subject Suggestions, Perfect DINO ASS – Sparks Show Ep 335

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Female Dictator, Mexican Coke Problem, KFC is changing – Sparks Radio Podcast Ep 233

August 24, 2020

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What up! Welcome to the show! If it’s your first time here, this is a show I do every single day where I take 3 stories that jumped out at me and break them down with you and for you! 

Tell a friend you enjoyed it and give us a rating and review here. DM your address on INSTAGRAM @SPARKSRADIO for a free Sparks Radio sticker and I’ll mail you one! Thanks for listening!

Today we’re talking about: Female Dictator, Mexican Coke Problem, KFC is changing 

Stories:

Kim Jong Un Coma

  • Kim Jong Un is in a coma 
  • More like Kim Jong Un-conscious, amiiright?!?!
  • Some spies are saying that the dictator has been in a coma for months now
  • AND WE’VE KNOWN THIS – BECAUSE TMZ REPORTED IT MONTHS AGO
  • I Hate them, but they always have the drop on dudes being in comas
  • First Lamar Odom, now Dennis Rodman’s man
  • Now that’s constantly dreaming of shirtless horseback rides. His sister, Kim Yo Jung, or if you’ll allow me to be the first to call her – Kimmy – has been tapped to take over
  • Kim Jong Un is a piece of shit, but even he knows it’s 2020 and the glass ceiling for powerful women has been shattered!
  • #WokeDictator 
  • Actually he’s asleep still
  • #AsleepbutwokeDictator
  • Because
  • Yes, NORTH “OUR PEOPLE HAVE WORMS” Korea is going to have a female leader before the USA will
  • That’s how insane this notion that “women can’t lead and shouldn’t be president” that people believe in this country – NORTH “OUR LEADER DOESN’T POOP” Korea is more progressive than you. 
  • Now onto the facts. Is she crazy? Yes, of course. 
  • She’s going to have to show everyone that she’s in power and doesn’t take shit from anyone. 
  • But let’s focus on the positives here, there another woman that has been elevated to the highest power in the land
  • She’s proof that no matter how bad her, mass murdering, human labor camp running, oppressing dictator brother was, being a woman no be no different. 
  • And Kim Yo Jung – or let’s start it now – Kimmy – being just as big of a piece of shit is equality. And that’s feminism. And I believe in it!

Mexican Soda

  • The Mexican Health Undersecretary Hugo Lopez-Gatell is blaming the fact the Mexico drinks a lot of soda as the reason they’re dying from covid 
  • Yes Mexico drinks an unduly amount of the brown bubbly 
  • And How can we blame them?
  • Everyone knows the mexican coke is better than normal coke
  • Or as it’s known in spanish – coke 
  • He goes on to say that all this pop drinking is leading to people getting fat
  • Then when they get covid, their dying because they’re unhealthy
  • In some of the more remote regions of Mexico, they don’t have running water. And Coke is cheaper than water in most places
  • How about getting your shit water, right before you tell people not to drink something that makes them shit like they had midwestern mexican food
  • Mexican coke is known for being delicious while mexican water is know to make your ass run for the first time since your high school mile 
  • That’s why they’re called Aztecs – because you need a tech to work on your ass 
  • That’s what’s wrong with this guy, he’s dehydrated
  • And may I suggests a cool, crisp, refreshing coca cola to bring you back to feeling like your normal self
  • I’m sorry I’m in the pocket of big soda
  • I wonder who kills more people in Mexico, the cartels or sugar?
  • I’m willing to bet sugar, but that makes sense, everyone likes soda…it’s just really sweet 
  • Plus, have you had mexican food? Of course everyone is fat there
  • It’s the best food on earth!
  • Everything has cheese on it! 
  • Even their corn has cheese
  • Mexico, please don’t do anything too drastic to cut down weight like put in mandatory dieting
  • The only keto diet Mexico should have is the te-quito diet. 

KFC is dropping

  • KFC is dropping their “finger licking good” catch phrase because, right now is not the best time to be licking fingers
  • They said the slogan “doesn’t feel quite right” so they’re putting it on pause for now
  • This is the right call simply because it’s fucking distusgting.
  • On time I had to pee when I was at the grocery store and this guy came out of the stall from pooping and then walked out.
  • Which is disgusting. But then when I left, I saw ol’ brown nails fingering up the produce. 
  • Holding peaches up to his face, smelling it and putting it back. 
  • Wash your hands and wash your produce
  • I get it, it’s a 60 year old slogan and we shouldn’t have to change everything just because people are sensitive.
  • But just because you’ve done something a long time, doesn’t mean you should
  • My friend Gary had a tradition where he put a bottle rocket in his ass every 4th of July. 
  • He did this for years. It was a bad idea every single year and that’s why he’s a moron
  • He’s dead now, so he won’t mind me saying that.
  • KFC is now just blurring out the “Finger licking” part of the slogan. Which makes it seem even dirtier.
  • Their signs and buckets look like it had nudity on them and their censoring them for tv
  • Every time there’s a KFC commercial on TV now it’s their blurring out nudity. Which is on point because their used to dealing with breasts and thighs

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Neckbeards vs hairy knuckles, Song Subject Suggestions, Perfect DINO ASS – Sparks Show Ep 335

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