Iman Shumpert’s Bathroom, NASA Steroids, and Facebook Paying You – Sparks Radio Podcast Ep 244

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Today we’re talking about: Iman Shumpert’s Bathroom, NASA Steroids, and Facebook Paying You – Sparks Radio Podcast Ep 244

Stories:

Iman Shumpert’s Bathroom

NBA player Iman Shumpert and his wife Singer Teyana Taylor can’t stop birthing babies in bathrooms
Their fist came as a surprise and he delivered it in his bathroom while on the phone with 911 who was walking him through it
And now, their second one came as a surprise and he delivered it in their bathtub
This is incredible for a lot of reasons
First, the man delivered his own children. Do you trust yourself to do that?
I would’ve passed out. Iman had nothing to worry about, he isn’t known for passing
The bathroom I would think is one of the worst places for a baby to be born
Could you imagine the first thing you see in the world is your dad’s rogaine bottle, a stray pube on a toilet seat, and a 4 year old bag of epsom salt
It sounds like the list macgyver would need to deliver a baby
It’s strange to me that people chose to have a baby at home
For hundreds of thousands of years, humans have been having their babies at home
And every second of that time, they were thinking, i wish we wish could invent something like a hospital
I accidentally spilled a drink on a blanket of friends house party
I know I’m usually the wet blanket at an event
But then later I found out that she gave birth at home
Which seems kind of hypocritical
So it’s a MIRACLE when your fluids are spilled all over the house, but not mine?
Water birth is a really strange idea and I’m sure how it works
I imagine it something like when they release a dolphin back into the wild
Some people look like they were a water birth, but never came up for air
Jack Ma, founder of alibaba – he’s one.
Michael Phelps – he’s not a good swimmer – he’s just trying to go home
I’m happy for Tayana and Iman, I really am, but he’s given her too high of a bar for delivery from now on
pizza , grub hub, not every Digorno is going to be able to compare to this man’s delivery skills gbhrfe

Nasa Juice

Astronauts lose a bunch of muscle mass in space due to the lack of gravity
So NASA is roiding up some mice
They’re calling them mighty mice and they’re injecting them with some space age muscle building steroids
The juice is designed to block a couple proteins that tells the body to limit the amount of muscle mass
The mice didn’t lose any muscle and came back from space all yoked out.
I think the idea of mutant bodybuilding mice is terrifying
Look at them doing little shoulder shrugs
using a mouse trap to work on their mouse traps
They just break through the walls of the maze like a mini kool-aid man
NASA has only tested this on mice at the moment but you can bet pro athletes, bodybuilders, and DJ Qualls are highly interested.
NASA should just start their own steroid space olympics
Just let all the famous athletes that have taken steroids compete against each other
How many miles can Roger Clemens throw a fastball?
Can Jose Conseco hit a 16,000 mph pitch?
How many light years can Lance Armstrong deny taking any?
My friend told me “I wish they had steroids for other things than muscles, like you brain”
YEAH THEY’RE CALLED BOOKS
You read them and you get smarter.
He didn’t understand, he’s not a reader
It’s only a matter of time till this hits the streets and people start taking it
It should be easy to tell when that happens because your grocery bagger will look like Bane
If i took steroids like this and grew insane muscle mass I know it would just go to somewhere stupid
Like my eyebrows.
I’d still have tiny femine wrists, but my eyebrows would look like batman’s on the outside of his mask.
Why did he choose that by the way?
It could’ve just been a hement, but he wanted his eyebrows to look like just heard a noise downstairs, but he’s the only one home
What was that?
Hello? Is there someone down there

Facebook wants to pay you not to use it

Facebook wants to pay you not to use Facebook
They’re conducting a study to measure how much political influence social media has on elections
They’re willing to pay up to $120 to deactivate your account at the end of September
Social media doesn’t have any political influence!
It’s our doctors that are actually influencing politics
Yeah, it’s true, I saw a meme in the I Love Corgi’s Facebook group
that doctors are actually giving our medical history to our state representatives and they’re using it to gage who is more easily influenced psychologically and then the government uses that information to pick who’s going to get the micro chipped vaccine first so they can profit off of our fear of a made up virus so that they can win an election on the back of dead Americans who didn’t actually die because like I said you can’t die off of a made up virus.
There’s 2 types of people on social media
Those that want something and those that don’t
Those that don’t are you friends like Charles, or Gabriell, you know, normal people that don’t want shit from you and are genuinely thinking “Are donuts dessert or breakfast food?”
Those that DO want something have a range of stupid to doubiuos
Personally, I’m on the stupid side of the scale because what I do is meaningless and I want attention for this daily nonsense I call a show
Follow me @SparksRadio
Then you have people that want to shell you shit you don’t need
Ya ever wanted to have a picnic on a lake?
Then it goes trolls, hackers, your confused aunt that uses it like a search engine
How to make sourdough banana bread….and post
Then at the top, it’s people that want to poison your mind with propaganda to fit their agenda
These people are known as – Russians
Facebook, you shouldn’t pay us $120 dollars for getting off social media
You should pay the people creating this misinformation nonsense to stop doing it
Create some competition
Say Putin pays them $100 a day to create election interference
You pay $120 not to
Putin says he’ll kill their families
You say, you’ll stop their confused aunt from using facebook like google
Give them a taste of the joys capitalism can bring