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What up! Welcome to the show! If it’s your first time here, this is a show I do every single day where I take 3 stories that jumped out at me and break them down with you and for you!
Today we’re talking about: Missing $175 Million, New Google Maps, and I’m an extra in a war movie
Money Order Update:
- Yesterday I mentioned that Citigroup was suing Brigade Capital because Citigroup accidentally wired $175 mill and Brigade Capital wasn’t giving it back.
- Now Brigade Capital is claiming that they don’t have the money!
- It’s like Citigroup is at court trying to get it’s child support and Brigade pulls up in a new benz and says he’s got no money.
- It’s like a business version of Montel Williams – Monetary Williams
- Give the money Back Brigade! It was a simple mistake, we’ve all done it. Hit send before checking it over
- I sent a text saying how bad a coworker’s breath smelled to the bad breathed coworker.
- Which backfired on me because she started yelling
- Her mouth was awful. Smelled like new orleans after mardi gras – which is fitting because her name was Katrina
- Katrina, I don’t care if you just ate
- The rest of the office should have to live with it like its a ghost
- Haunting us, lingering
- So you can go TUNA HELL Katrina and I will SEA you there. YOUR BREATH KEEPS COMING IN WAVES. More like the Mariana Stench!
Maps on Maps on Maps
- Google is updating is maps again
- This time they’ll feature new and more detailed versions of the world maps that’ll make it easier to distinguish natural features
- They’re also updating the street view so it’ll be even more detailed than before
- Which is hard to imagine just how much more detail we need at this point
- What’s your endgame google? Make sure nobody visits anyone or anything in person ever again?
- We’re marching ever closer to a world where we never actually meet anyone or do anything as people ever again?
- We’re all gonna live like Lilu from the 5th element – sleeping in a human vending machine
- An anthropologist told me once – we’re tubes! That’s all we are, tubes man
- Living in tiny ventilation shafts stacked on one another like a horrible version of Die Hard or the The Matrix. Or should I say Die Hard 2, Die Hard with a Vengeance, Live Free or Die Hard, A good Day to Die Hard, This franchise will not Die Hard, the Matrix 2, and The Matrix 3 and probably the Matrix 4
- We’re just laying there having vitrtual sex with the same Kardashian, but it’s really just a mop on a hollowed out cantaloupe with the lungs of a dyson.
- Which Kardashian do you think I was talking about?
- Khole – did you say Khloe? You knew that
- Speaking of Lungs – Covid is accelerating this a ton too
- I get it! I’m there. I don’t want to leave my house.
- I don’t know if I can handle a couple more months of this quarantine. Last thing I’d want to be caught cheating on my wife…it’s cantaloupe season.
Lost my job day 2:
- I feel like 2020 is a horror movie or a war movie. And the job eating plague of covid 19 gobbling people up. I’m that guy in the horror film. You watch an apocalyptic movie or a war movie and you vicariously put yourself into the lead role of the movie. The lead role is the survivor. I’m not that guy. I’m not even the guy you see get bit. I’m one of the million in the swarm. Statistically you are too. I’m the one of the countless soldiers who died at Gettysburg. I’m not the special lead character. I’m the extra. Laying on the ground with end trails in his hands, asking how to sign up for Obamacare.
- Dude, I’m blown away by the amount of people who have reached out to and offered help if we need it. Losing a job sucks in a normal situation, but throwing pandemic on top of it, makes it extra shitty. But everyone that has reached out over the last 24 hours has blown my mind. Thank you for being so kind. Thank you for being generous with your time. And thank you for the support!
